In case you cannot understand the audio above, here is the transcript:
A man calls ASDA customer service to complain that he got a pizza with no toppings only to realize that he had opened it upside down. This is one of the dumber pizza calls I have heard.
Operator: Please wait and we will connect you with the next available colleague who will be happy to help.
Customer Service: Good afternoon you’ve reached the ASDA service team how may I help?
Man: Yeah, I’m really not happy I’d like to make a complaint.
Customer Service: Okay sir, what’s he complaint about?
Man: Well listen I’ve just bought a pizza in ASDA and I have to admit there’s actually no topping on it. That’s my dinner for the night.
Customer Service: No topping on it what so ever?
Man: Nope, just bread.
Customer Service: Just bread, not a spot of sauce?
Man: No not even tomato sauce, just bread.
Customer Service: Okay, sorry about that first of all and thanks for letting us know about this information. So what I’m going to do now is I’m going to…and this is where we’re going to give you a letter of apology and as a gesture because of the inconvenience caused by our product and the package in details we’ll be able to launch an investigation on why this happened…
Man: What about my dinner now though am I going to go hungry?
Customer Service: If you go back they’ll be able to exchange it to you.
Man: I got to go all the way back just to take this bloody pizza back. Can I get a new one with toppings on?
Customer Service: Well sorry about that sir because all I can do is…
Man: Can you get one delivered?
Customer Service: Can I get one delivered?
Man: It’s just a long way for me. It’s a long way to go.
Customer Service: Unfortunately I can’t provide that service for you. Which area do you live in?
Man: I mean just look…oh wait I…sorry I’ve opened it upside down.
Customer Service: Are you being serious?
Man: Right, right that’s why there was no topping. It’s a nightmare all the toppings are falling off. I was…
Customer Service: I’m sorry for laughing.
Man: But it’s still not dinner for me I mean all the toppings are on the bottom, can I still take it back?
Customer Service: I think you can as long as you get a new one.
Man: I mean at the end of the day I mean this probably happens all the time. It doesn’t say on the box open this way up for your pizza.
Customer Service: You carry it home…
Man: I didn’t know…
Customer Service: You can still eat it…
Man: …all the stuff is falling off.
Customer Service: Send you this letter of apology…
Man: Do me a favor if it’s a letter of apology don’t mention that I open it upside down it makes me look like a fool. Come on it’s not that funny I bet everybody does it.
Customer Service: …
Man: …so what do I have to do just take it back as is?
Customer Service: After this claim you can just throw it away.
Man: Listen I’m too embarrassed to…I know you think it’s funny but I feel deeply ashamed of myself so…
Customer Service: Don’t worry about that sir.
Man: No don’t worry you obviously know how to…so I can imagine it’s my own fault I should have opened it by the picture like you said. Listen don’t worry, I’ll just scrape it together you know…
Customer Service: No sir, I’ll still get you the letter of apology…
Man: …
Customer Service: …
Man: …sort it out.
