Pizza Express Flirting With Its Customers

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Pizza Express Flirting With Its Customers

Posted By: Pizza Expert
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If you walk into a pizza joint and the person behind the counter says "hey.. is that a pepperoni in your pants, are you just happy to see me?" then you might be in Pizza Express. The company is reportedly teaching staff how to flirt with customers in order to relax them.

I'm not really sure about this one. I mean, it might be a good idea, but it's a little creepy when you think about the fact that this is the same place that sells Bambinoccinos (caffeine-free cappuccino's for kids). But the company appears to be looking for ways to increase customer retention and improve their atmosphere. So I'll give them the benefit of the doubt here.

They've hired actor Karl James* to train employees in the art of the flirt. If you don't know who Karl James is, join the club. Even doesn't know him.

Anyway, James is running some classes and workshops with select Pizza Express employees to teach them how to interact with customers. I'm beginning to wonder how many people who work in the pizza joints I frequent are aspiring actors just waiting for their big break. Maybe I should tip better so they'll remember me when they make it big.

So back to Pizza Express and Karl James. Apparently, the company hopes that in today's world of social media and smart phone linkups replacing face-to-face interaction, things can be improved in the pizza parlor by learning how to interact again. Funny, since I found out about this scheme via Twitter.

So James plans to teach pizza cooks, cash register clerks, and other restaurant staff how to "banter." A key ingredient will be light flirting, used to (carefully, I hope) coax customers into being more relaxed.

Which brings me to pornography in the pizza joint. Which might be the obvious result here, given that we have a precedent...

Alright, hopefully not. The whole thing is being orchestrated through James' company,** which boasts clients like Unilever and BBC.

However this is pulled off, at least they're trying to do something, I guess. If what they want is to help customers relax, though, I'd recommend they install massage chairs and get a couple of those girls at the mall to work there. Better yet, they could install some of those cool robotic massage chairs that cost a buck. Those could easily replace booths and make a profit.

Either way, I just hope that the next time I go in to order pizza, I don't hear "Do you want anything ELSE with that, beefcake?"

That would just be awkward.

*Not to be confused with Karl James Noons, the middleweight boxer and mixed marital artist.

**A note about this website: it has a lot of circles on it.

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