So my wife loves pizza, right? And she especially loves Papa John's pizza.
So when they started advertising their heart-shaped pizza for Valentine's Day I knew it was only a matter of time before we would be eating one over candlelight.

Just about the time Michael Bolton (joking) was singing the chorus to "When a man loves a woman" (OK, not really joking), the doorbell rings and my wife runs to the door like a sixth grader hearing the very last bell before summer vacation.
Almost immediately, that overwhelming euphoria is replaced by, "You've got to be kidding me," when she cracks the box top to reveal this gem of pizza-making craftsmanship (pictured).
Sure, it kind of looks like a heart, but what the picture might not fully convey is that the crust was roughly the same thickness as your standard sized playing card coupled with the internal temperature of an ice cream sundae.

In conclusion:

1. They might as well have gone ahead and just cut the dang thing in half with a zigzag.
2. Papa John, you owe my wife an apology.

Papa John's gets 1 out of 8 slices for this miserable excuse that passes as pizza.