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The picture should speak for itself.

I know that Pizzeria Uno is a legendary pizza institution, specifically known for its creation of the Chicago deep dish pizza, but its reincarnation in frozen form is rather un-delicious.

I’m like the Homer Simpson of rating pizzas. I might consider rating a pizza found under a couch an 7 out of 8 rating too if it tasted good…but the Pizzeria Uno Deep Dish Pepperoni was greasy, its cheese was moist (and it was not undercooked; the crispy burnt cheese on top verified that), and the sauce was soupy. As hungry as I was, there was  nothing inside of me pushing me to finish even half of the pizza—which might have been a blessing in disguise because that would have been a 1000 calories right there.

I will refuse to focus on just the negative here, however. This is pizza we’re talking about, a food gift for college students, people who can’t cook, and Book It! participants. The crust was edible, tasty even; I finished nearly all of the crust that contained some cheese residue. The pepperoni populated the pizza in a plentifully perfect manner. And I’m pretty sure I bought the Pizzeria Uno pizzas for under $12 at Jewel last week, so I’m pleased with that.

Using my Homer Simpson pizza rating, which IS certainly biased to overall edibility and not nuanced criticality, I will give this frozen deep dish pizza a 5 out of 8 slices. Next time get a frozen Gino’s East deep dish instead.