Dori is the President and Founder of Fat Kids club. Click here for her review on Authentic Brooklyn Pizza.

I would rather eat the store-brand. I would rather eat the lowest of the corporate delivery kind.

I would rather dig through my freezer and venture to the curious world of “the frozen” before I took another bite of what Wowie’s Sports Grill calls “pizza.”

The crust – if you can call it that – was burnt… everywhere. That age-old saying of “it tastes like cardboard” is the only thing that comes to mind. In fact, you, too, can make similar tasting pizza crust if you have a cereal box in your pantry.

The cheese tasted old and therefore, made the pizza taste like it had been sitting under a heat lamp for two hours. That may or may not have been the case, but no need to make those assumptions.

The sauce – in the midst of a crust and cheese failure – was somewhat out of place. It wasn’t so bad, but mixed in with the rest of the disappointing ingredients, it actually tasted worse than it should have. Sans pizza and alongside the fried mozzarella appetizer, the sauce was delicious.

Besides being a really bad pizza impersonation, it wasn’t worth the $12.95 they charge for a 12-inch pizza. I give it 2 out of 8 slices… possibly 1 out of 8 if you have more self-respect.