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Tony’s “Party Time” Crispy Crust Frozen Pizza

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Went bottom fishing in the frozen pizza section of my grocery store the other day, and reeled in some Tony’s “New” Crisp Crust Pizza. Tony’s is one of the brands (along with Freschetta and Red Baron) manufactured by the Schwan’s Food Company of Minnesota. Schwans started the same year I was born, delivering ice cream directly to rural homes. They’ve come along way since then, but you can still get ice cream (and other goodies) delivered by your local Schwan’s guy, click here for the selections.


Tony’s is clearly trying to capture some portion of the emerging “thin & crispy” category, in both appearance, and cost (usually less than a buck). These reminded me of the Totino’s low end pies, which originally were “Jeno’s” (a company started in my home town, and also originator of the pizza roll). Jeno Paulucci had two food companies that he grew from scratch, Chun King “Chinese” foods, and the Jeno’s brand of “Italian” foods. They were sold to RJ Reynolds and Pillsbury respectively, for boatloads of cash, and Jeno, who just celebrated his 130th birthday, is still at the biz, cranking out Michelina’s Frozen meals, as well as some other brands.

Anyway, these Tony’s were .98 cents each, so I picked a couple up. Although they sell a supreme and cheese model, the pepperonis were the ones at the featured price. I did not note the price of the other varieties.

The first thing one notices when removing from the box is that the engineers at Tony’s have come up with a new pizza shape and word to go with it: “Scround.” A square pie with rounded corners. I cannot even begin to comprehend why they did this. It’s nearly the shape of the Domino’s delivery box, but I do understand why they did that (probably boosted profits 1/10th of a penny per delivery).

The instructions are 12 minutes at 400 degrees. One thing I’ll say about these cheap little pies, is you can use the toaster oven, which is kind of handy. It may well be my tip of the hat to saving the planet and using less energy.

As regular readers know, I follow the precise instructions for cooking frozen and Ready To Eat meals, to see how they come out when following the instructions. I know, such a non-male thing to do.

The “Party Time” weighs in at 10.10 ounces, and the cover announces the (diced) pepperoni is made from pork, chicken, and beef. Other ingredients include a “topping blend” (defined as “mozzarella cheese substitute combined with a litany of other ingredients), but later in the list actually mozzarella appears, as does “isolated carrot product” (WTF?), onion, garlic, paprika, blah blah, and a whole lot of things that end in “ides” and “ates” and “ines.”

740 calories for the whole pie, 88 carbs (how many points is that?), a boatload of sodium, and negligible fiber.

As to taste. Well.  You get what you pay for.  After the recommended cooking time, the pizza was nowhere near my definition of “crisp”.  An additional 3-4 minutes produced no changes in the texture, as well. The bits of pepperoni (is diced really that much cheaper than sliced?) had a flavor reminiscent of pepperoni, but a texture more akin to boiled ham.   There was a sweet quality to the pizza that I didn’t care for, I assume it was from sugar in the tomato sauce.   And the “topping blend?”   Just that. No discernible actual cheese flavor, and as you can see from the photo, melt quality left something to be desired as well.

Would I purchase these again?  Are these pizzas the home version of drunk food, like when you hit White Castle after the bars?  Maybe for some folks, but not for me.  I have no idea what I will do with the remaining inventory in my freezer.

Tony’s Party Time Pizza gets 1 out of 8 slices in my opinion.